STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
