I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
