We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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