i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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