im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
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