Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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