I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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