But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
