yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
