Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
