Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(937): View more from Ohio

He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"

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(330): View more from Ohio

Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope

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(404): View more from Georgia

You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.

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21 Sketchy Drug Deals That Are Scary AF
Read it at the TFLN blog
(312): View more from Illinois

You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?

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(573): View more from Missouri

I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.

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(310): View more from California

One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.

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(312): View more from Illinois

I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes

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