Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.

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  (818): he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job. http://tfl.nu/gvx6
  Replies (9) Good night (903) Bad night (1318)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai

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  (317): Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta. (1-317): Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai http://tfl.nu/sch5
  Replies (5) Good night (595) Bad night (2388)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand

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  (408): Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand http://tfl.nu/h440
  Replies (31) Good night (4847) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.

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  (954): It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life. http://tfl.nu/v7co
  Replies (10) Good night (701) Bad night (3631)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip

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  (609): i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip http://tfl.nu/9463
  Replies (10) Good night (3567) Bad night (1582)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed

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  (301): Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed http://tfl.nu/1voz
  Replies (8) Good night (1068) Bad night (4686)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?

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  (917): Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her? http://tfl.nu/rn89
  Replies (17) Good night (7195) Bad night (951)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.

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  (989): I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it. http://tfl.nu/prf6
  Replies (14) Good night (5013) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other

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  (608): I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other http://tfl.nu/go45
  Replies (15) Good night (3407) Bad night (1007)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  It's official drugs can't kill me

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  (864): It's official drugs can't kill me http://tfl.nu/v797
  Replies (13) Good night (2096) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis

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  (360): Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis http://tfl.nu/354f
  Replies (2) Good night (904) Bad night (671)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.

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  (302): Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells. http://tfl.nu/dzek
  Replies (4) Good night (1128) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.

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  (630): And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates. http://tfl.nu/727h
  Replies (4) Good night (847) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger

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  (304): They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger http://tfl.nu/q9xy
  Replies (4) Good night (884) Bad night (277)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck

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  (812): dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck http://tfl.nu/q60e
  Replies (9) Good night (326) Bad night (991)

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