just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
