Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
My ATM looks so different sober.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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