im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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