You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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