i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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