i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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