what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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