i don't like sucking hair
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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