his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
