Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
