Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
