Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
