break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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