Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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