i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
