I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
