just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
