im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
