.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
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