I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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