So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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