He disabled his match.com account in front of me
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
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