Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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