idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
