that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
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Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
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I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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