i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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