She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
