It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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