I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
