He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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