He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
