We won't sleep together?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I have post one night stand depression
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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