Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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