So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
