I wish I could teleport
i may or may not be watching the land before time
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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