Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
