The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
