I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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