I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
