they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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