with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
