Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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