Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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