I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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