You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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