Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
