where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
