That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Moan for me like Helen Keller
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
he just fucked me for my cheese..
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
