I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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