I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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