I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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