if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
