Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Randomize
