I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
