Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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