How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize